Three words: puerto rican gang bang
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
there is glitter all over my balls
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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