i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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