if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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