I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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