She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I woke up under a house in Key West
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