We're facebook friends in real life
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
