what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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