you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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