I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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