Please, let me fuck your mom
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
