end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
