Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
