I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
