smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
