For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
