Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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