it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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