I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
