I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
