Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
In America we eat man semen.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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