we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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