I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
A bitchslap is in order.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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