i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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