So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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