is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize