I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
