JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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