Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
