I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
