Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
