seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
