Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
