I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
