somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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