My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Randomize
