Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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