i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
