in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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