And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
