bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
