i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
