garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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