I have demons in me.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
