How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
