$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
