We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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