We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
