You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
