Do you still have your period?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you inspire me to be a worse person
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
