yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize