Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
