I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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