Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
