Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
is this the sara with the beer cane?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
