I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
