Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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