Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
