During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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